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2013 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 570 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 10 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

tuareg2010 rebilt

Looks good, rides like it is stolen


Top speed so far 67 km/hr





Gibson’s Cave and summerhill force:

Phone box free ride:

Phone-cam test fail #1 Holwick Bank Puddlz:

Phone-cam test fail #2 The Castles:

tdf2013 was 3360 km (2088 miles)

kilometre 0-400; january 2013

kilometre 400-700; february

kilometre 700-1200; march

kilometre 1200-1600; april

kilometre 1600-2200; may

kilometre 2200-2900; june

kilometre 2900-3360; 18 July 🙂

teesdl raynz

ya c ive bin aroun teesdl on a bike wif no name
itz so good to be out in teh rain
in teh puddlz y kant remember yer name
cuz there aint no 1 4 2 give u no payne

singin la la la la la la singin la la la…

an aftr 2 yrs in teh teesdale soak
yer aiz begn 2 gro lidz
(yer feet get webbed an yer skin grows scales
an taht splatted frog got no kidz)

an after 3 dekaidz in teh pourin stuff
yer langwidge trunz 2 slurr
(teh beer tastes like it wuz maid in a drain
y kant get perno nor tekeela yurr
whadaya think, lad, itz a pub?)

an aftr 4ty sentewreez in teh downside werld
it feels good 2 b bak in teh rain
(solar panel pyramidz: logarithmic profile – makes a purrfik Dirac delta pin
graphene wingz 4 dragonfliez)

an aftr 5 epochs in a maree poppinz lewp.

vernal equinox 2012

omtbpc : Sol illuminates School House. Solar panels make the electric. The electric makes monies. Monies buy mtbs 4 children. 🙂

As of November 2012, Strathmore English Estates will not allow roof mounted panels. 😦 Even so, 9 bikes (mostly mtbs but a couple of road bikes included) have passed to other children. A ground area, 3 x 2 metres, has been cleared and readied for ‘ground level’ installation after solstice next…

… an teh nex bike iz carbon lattice wif no colour an 29 inch weelz: delta 7

arantix delta 7

carbon lattice 29-er

road bikes r k2. 🙂

Solar panels at ground level, hmmmm…

1 mountain bike per child

tuareg 2012, carbon forks

tuareg 2012, carbon forks

vernal equinox 2012

Thursday, 20th September 2012

2012 Tuareg rebuild complete – 1600 km covered, top speed (so far) 20.2 metres per second. 🙂

2010 Tuareg needs a weld on its poorly designed cable lugs before rebuild for dayzy…

mtb in titanium and other 'elements'
2010 Van Nicholas, Tuareg, Ti + “elements”, mtb broken weld after 20 months – repair to dayzy…

omtbpc = 1 mountain bike per child.

Sol illuminates my roof. Energy is converted to electrical power. Excess beyond School House load generates currency units. Currency units make mountain bikes for children. 🙂

Tuesday, 8th November 2011

btc = 7; children = 7 billion, 7 000 000 000, 7e9 an countin…


salsa to david falconer

red bike

kikmuk gumboot karnleggi

kikmuk gumboot karnleggi

Tuesday, 9th August 2011

Happy Birthday Mam [Constance (Connie) b. 1932]

Bikes to children = 7

Apollo, Al, mtb + Ian Stevens, M-in-T.


Ian, “… it changed my life. 🙂 Rode to Barnard Castle Golf Club; played a round; won the tournament and rode home.”


Tuesday, 2nd August 2011

Solar PV is Free+

Bikes to children = 4

Tuesday, 21st June 2011

@ kick-off:

EDF Energy update: During the past year to date here@SchoolHouse: 3,352 kWh = £314.38’s-worth of electrical energy was converted to waste heat.

PV panels installed at ‘ground-level’ = 1/3rd of 1 square metre, approximately.

Bikes to children = 3 = 2 x road + 1 x mtb.

Tuesday, 31st May 2011

Recorded history shows how much incoming, short-wavelength, solar radiation was a) intercepted and b) re-radiated at infrared wavelengths @ School House roof.

111 (metre squared roof area) x 420 (Watts per metre squared insolation) x 12 (hours lit by Sol) x 365.25 (days in a year) x 111 (years, approx.)  = about  2 x 10^7 kilowatt hours or approximately 1 million pounds Sterling at today’s rate.

So, for each 100 School Houses in the world, 1 million local currency units per year is currently wasted.

Saturday, 23rd April 2011

To: Strathmore

Holwick Lodge

Co. Durham

DL12 0NR

Dear Strathmore,

With regard to your request for a feasibility study to mount the PV panels at ground level… , the best engineering solutions available are already visible in Teesdale at Langdon Beck Youth Hostel, just north of the Tees river, where both water-heating and PV panels are mounted upon its roof. The garden below supplies food, colour, recreation and outlet waste management.*

There is a concrete base here at School House garden that I would be happy to cover with steerable solar panels but, I fear, the result of 1 year’s output from there would equal the cost of 1 mtb tyre per year to the 1 mtb to a child per month that is the project’s initial target. Heigh ho, I guess that’s an improvement on nothing.

With best regards,


This is already achieved.

Reports of School House shining invisible were not made in all the Wednesdays on planet Earth nor any other imagined epoch.

Friday, 25th February 2011.

EDF Energy cost here@screwloose = £309.80 = 3,262 kWh in the year to date.

Sunday, 20th February 2011

Regarding Strathmore English Estates:

Strathmore & Kinghorne

Glamis Castle Angus,



First, wishing you and all at Glamis a belated but Happy 2011 and with apologies for disturbing you at home.

I have received notification of window replacement and under-roof insulation installation at School House that should proceed later this year and for these I thank you and the Estate.

With the above in mind, I wrote to your Estate Offices at Egglestone Abbey on the 7th inst. to request an extension to these granted permissions such that I could arrange to have installed 17 (seventeen) Solar Photovoltaic (PV) panels on the southeast roof in the same year. I have already met with Ian Stephenson of Winter Warm, Bradford, who supplied me with a quote for the installation and outbound grid connection costs (£15,000) that will generate at maximum 4 kilowatts of 240 VAC electrical power. The installation comes with a 25 year guarantee from completion date. You are no doubt aware that HMG has set a working purchase rate of 41.3 pence per kilowatt hour for such “Green Power” schemes this year. However, on 11th inst., I received an almost incoherent reply from William Salvin MRICS, that includes the following final sentence: “Let me know how you wish to proceed but I would be reluctant to sanction a roof top installation.”

My idea is to use any monies accruing beyond personal electricity consumption to supply mountain bikes to children* and I was somewhat taken aback by the apparent gist of William’s reply. If you feel ready, willing and able to comment upon this reluctance by return correspondence (paper or electronic) then I would be most grateful.

With best regards,


Ian E. Consterdine B.Sc., Ph. D., F.R.Met.S. (aka, The Mad Doc)

* The project blog can be found on the intertubes via a web-browser: Sunday, 20th February, 2011

posted same day.

Thursday, 17th February 2011

Regarding Mitsubishi

A UK dealer of your products will install a 4 kilowatt unit later this year. I would appreciate any input regarding to double their quoted output as there is up to 200 square metres available to panel.

Details of the quote and their generous donation are included in the project web @ omtbpc

With best regards,

Dr. Ian E. Consterdine

10th October 2010

tuareg, van nicholas, Ti + C + ‘elements’, mtb

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😉 an teh fewtewer iz reddee 4 delivry…

Economic model: olpc and Nicholas Negroponte

Aim: By summer solstice 2011, the equivalent of 1 x 2010 titanium mtb gets delivered to a child on a monthly basis. By then, funds will accrue from photovoltaic solar panels on the roof here @ School House supplying electricity to the UK grid at the rate of 41.3 pence per kilowatt hour.

January 2011

First titanium bike (road not mtb, heigh ho) delivered to bro. Peter:, eclipse ti road bike


Regarding this 1st GB manufactured Ti bike delivery:

iec, “… but it’s only got 20 spokes! (mtb haz 32 spokes)”

pjc, “hmmm, I thought there was something missing…”


I’ll soon run out of funds if I don’t get the solar panels installed pronto…

Bunnyboy Warren likes the idea but thinks omtbpc should not have to seek permission from any other group. I agree with his sentiment and there is already a fraction of a metre squared of solar collector in place. The output is 600 Watts for 1 hour 12 minutes maximum or the equivalent of about 33p per sunny week to omtbpc bank. 🙂

Michelle Glors Grancourt and my brother Keith also like the idea. 🙂


1) omtbpc bank application.

2) School House roof area, 111 square metres

3) Photovoltaic cover


4) Summer Solstice: 1646Z to 1731Z 21st June 2011*


0) T-5 months:

  • Ian Stephenson, winter-warm, Bradford, GB

Winterwarm Solar PV Quote 4

Friday, 4 February 2011, 11:23:44


Apologies for the delay in getting the quote to you I have been rather busy!

Please find attached as agreed, MCS Certificate, SAP Report, Generation Chart and Quotation for Solar PV.

The quote is based on a Mitsubishi System. Other systems are available on request.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me on 07947 980856.

Having looked at your webpage, we would like to make the following offer, should you decide to use Winterwarm Renewable Energy for your Solar PV fitting, upon completion of the works Winterwarm will kick start your mountain bikes for children scheme by making the first donation of a bike to the value of £250.

As previously mentioned should we receive any further completed Solar PV works as a direct result of yours we would donate either a mountain bike to the value of £200 or a £200 cheque.

As also mentioned at survey stage we would need written permission of the house owner Lord Strathmore, once this permission is received if you wish to proceed we would require a cheque for 20% as a deposit and as mentioned this would be covered by our price guarantee, should prices go up your sake however if they go down we will adjust the final balance to reflect the reduction.

Best regards

Ian Stephenson
Business Development Manager
Winterwarm Insulations

IMPORTANT: The contents of this email and attachments may be
confidential and also subject to legal privilege and/or protected by copyright.
Copying or communicating any part of it to others is prohibited and may be
unlawful. If you are not the intended recipient you must not use, copy,
distribute or rely on this email and should please delete it immediately and
notify the sender. While Winterwarm take every reasonable precaution to screen
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such viruses. We recommend you carry out your own virus checks.

Attachments removed by iec

Promising pre-launch. 🙂

1) 100% conversion efficiency of full sunshine  => £25 in omtbpc bank**.

2) 1% efficiency => 25 pence.

3) Nothing installed => 0, zero, zilch, nada, etc…

4) For each clear, sunny hour thereafter and per 10% conversion efficiency, approximately £2.49 is added to the previous hour’s compounded total.

With all relevant permissions granted.


0530Z 22nd December 2011*.

🙂 lots of children have mtbs.

The language is coloured shapes in eye-popping 3-d.

And these seemingly random statistical thangs and grafix…

So, after sign-off the contract of words and numbers + 240 calendar months, 1 x 201 1 titanium mtb per year is available for 15 years hence. 🙂

That is:

E (SI, Joules) → work + waste + whatever.

The ‘whatever’ clause lets my mind wander into blue-skies thoughts about what to do with 100 square metres of flat space during the times when Sol is not visible.

1.) During rainfall the area could be folded into a cup to allow a small HEP plant.

2.) At night it could be configured as a telescope.

3.) Wind could be used to spin the ‘petals’ of a wind generator.

and so it goes…

References: *


Cucina Cycle Services